It was a chilly summer afternoon, when I laid my eyes upon the sky. When you’re living in Australia, the seasons are always fucked. I was prepping for a fabulous tanning session, while suddenly, my frustration got the best of me while I decided to break my sunglasses in two. Why? It started raining. But after a moment, everything cleared up.
The sun penetrated through the clouds and fed me with sexual energy until I had an earth-shattering orgasm - a rainbow suddenly appears after the shock of the orgasm is over. Then I stood up and couldn’t believe what I saw.
A baby kangaroo approached me and told me we should start a shades business. He explained to me that he has an Advanced Smart System (A.S.S) microchip planted inside his pouch, and he came to planet Earth from the fifth dimension to bless us with ograsm-inducing sunglasses.
I had no choice but to sacrifice my life in order to fulfill his prophecy. The baby kangaroo also told me that if we don’t sell 1 million shades he will tortue my family, so plz do your thing :(
- M. and Baby Kangaroo, founders of Gradient